L.A. Fit-Files Volume 2
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Some quick bullet points about the men's locker room facilities at the gym:
-- There are no curtains at L.A. Fitness on Hollywood Blvd. In this day and age have we not progressed past concentration camp style showering in brand new fitness facilities? L.A. Fit-schwitz, I say.
-- In the adjoining room (where the toilets and urinals reside) there are partitions, walls, doors, and door locks. No full nudity takes place in this room. Is this ironic, or just whatever it is everyone thinks ironic means?
-- Free soap in the showers. The same exact kind they have dripping onto the sinks in the bathroom at Burger King.
-- No one is attracted to naked men. Not even women. Wait. Gay dudes.
-- I'm not homophobic at all, but I make a lot of eye contact and have a multicolored towel. I feel like something about this combination should concern me.
-- I have a great deal of admiration for the guys who have no problem walking around Gentleman Godiva style at the gym**. It's the exact same type of admiration I have for guys who fart in public or have sex with horribly unattractive women. I admire them for the fact that they can take something so disgusting, and out of sheer attitudinal willpower - are actually able to convince you that it's cool. "Yeah, I fuckin' did that! That's right." They totally own it. And they own my respect.
**Dear Gays -- You don't count.
-- I do not yet "own" being naked at the gym. I am, however, frequenting the gym with the purpose in mind that I might start spending more time naked. So I guess showering for the entire world to see is a good start.
-- There are no curtains at L.A. Fitness on Hollywood Blvd. In this day and age have we not progressed past concentration camp style showering in brand new fitness facilities? L.A. Fit-schwitz, I say.
-- In the adjoining room (where the toilets and urinals reside) there are partitions, walls, doors, and door locks. No full nudity takes place in this room. Is this ironic, or just whatever it is everyone thinks ironic means?
-- Free soap in the showers. The same exact kind they have dripping onto the sinks in the bathroom at Burger King.
-- No one is attracted to naked men. Not even women. Wait. Gay dudes.
-- I'm not homophobic at all, but I make a lot of eye contact and have a multicolored towel. I feel like something about this combination should concern me.
-- I have a great deal of admiration for the guys who have no problem walking around Gentleman Godiva style at the gym**. It's the exact same type of admiration I have for guys who fart in public or have sex with horribly unattractive women. I admire them for the fact that they can take something so disgusting, and out of sheer attitudinal willpower - are actually able to convince you that it's cool. "Yeah, I fuckin' did that! That's right." They totally own it. And they own my respect.
**Dear Gays -- You don't count.
-- I do not yet "own" being naked at the gym. I am, however, frequenting the gym with the purpose in mind that I might start spending more time naked. So I guess showering for the entire world to see is a good start.
posted by Joe | 3:55 PM
2 Comments:
Are you trying to get an intense debate on whether or not you're homophobic started? I think the "gays don't count" line is a certain crowd pleaser, since all gay guys love to show off their bodies right?
Not all of 'em. But the ones who do, don't count.
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