Good Will Hunting...

I'm sure everyone remembers that movie. I'm sure some of the following thoughts may even enter your little noggin when reminded of this film:

"My boy's wicked smaht."

"How do you like them apples?"

"Did you know that Ben Affleck and Matt Damon won an Academy Award for that??"

Yes. We're all very impressed. You're a veritable "Wikipedia" of movie quotes and facts. Bravo.

However, what I'd like to discuss is an equally memorable, but less quoted line from Good Will Hunting. That line is: "I gotta go see about a girl."

The context of the line revolves around Robin Williams' character (whom you know won't be particularly funny in this movie because he has a beard) and how he skipped out on his friends and wasted a ticket to one of the greatest baseball games ever played because he noticed some girl in a bar, and he just knew she was the one. The women ends up being the love of his life, taken from him too soon by cancer, but the moral of the story is that skipping out on the game ended up being the best move of his life.

My question is this: Does anyone know anyone who has a story that can remotely compare to this? Don't get me wrong. I'm sure it exists. And I don't mean to say that within the context of the movie that it's anything less than fantastic. But. It's. A. Movie. And unfortunately, I know too many people who in their every day lives treat it like it's a reality. Maybe they don't reference the movie specifically, or maybe they've never even seen it, but there is no shortage of people on this Earth who pass up some of the best things in life for "love."

I guess I just don't know many married people who are that happy. I mean, when I hear of it, it warms me to the very soul. However, the only people I can think of in my life who are the rule and not the exception rarer than venison at Ted Nugent's house are: broken-up single people, divorced people, and angry, bitter still-married people.

Let's take Good Will Hunting for example, and pretend like this may have actually happened. It worked out in this case, because she died of cancer. But indulge me for a moment, as I present to you a scene that surely would have occurred had her death not.

BW = Bearded Williams

RW = Resurrected Wife

BW: Honey, I don't mean to rush you, but we're supposed to be at the Bearded American Psychologists Society awards in less than a half hour.

RW: I KNOW. But maybe if you didn't want SEX this morning, I wouldn't be running late right now.

BW: I'm sorry.

She continues putting on makeup in front of a mirror. She crimps her eyelashes.

BW: Why do you do that?

RW: Because I'm ugly and I'm trying to do my best to look good for your stupid B.A.P.S.

BW: I think you're beautiful. You know this.

RW: Why would you ask me something so mean?

BW: How was it mean? I was just asking you a question. Honestly, I was just trying to make conversation. You always say I don't ask you enough questions. I was just trying to break the silence.

RW: Oh, so this is my fault? You asked me something insensitive and instead of just apologizing, you're going to tell me that I brought it upon myself? Oh, look! It's my husband the martyr who never does anything wrong!

BW: I'm sorry.

RW: What are you sorry for?

BW: I'm sorry for asking you something...insensitve?

RW: Christ. You don't even know what you're apologizing for. This is so typical.

BW: I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Isn't that enough?

RW: But why are you sorry?

BW: You want me to explain it to you? Like I'm a child or something?

RW: I knew I shouldn't have ever married someone younger than me. You're so immature.

BW: I'm 55 years old!

RW: That's such an immature response.

At that, Bearded Williams grabs his wife by the throat and slams her up against a bookcase.

BW: If you EVER start, propagate, and drag on another fight with me for NO REASON, EVER AGAIN, I will FUCKING END YOU.

CUT TO:

Bearded Williams sits alone in a jail cell.

BW: I should have gone to that fucking baseball game.

He sobs as we fade out.

I've seen people move cross country, transfer colleges, quit and turn down jobs for "love." I've seen them lose touch with friends, get fat, give up their passions, and completely change their personalities for "love." I must admit. I've been there. I've done it. And when you're in the situation, it's almost impossible to not make those decisions. Yes, I have "love" in quotes. No, I don't believe that it's anything other than love.

But you gotta play the numbers game. The person you're making these decisions for - the person for whom you're missing great events in your life whether it be historical baseball games or just a few beers on the couch - is she really the person you're going to be with for the rest of your life? Honestly?

This goes for single people as well. If you look back at the actual context of the movie, Robin Williams' character actually ditches his friends at the POTENTIAL of MEETING someone who could be the love of his life. I'm guilty of this more than anything else. I'll strand my friends faster than the French army at the first sound of gunfire if there's a potential for me to meet and/or have strings free sex with a woman.

Recently, I disappeared from a group of my friends in Las Vegas in order to take what could only be described as a "barely average" girl back to the hotel room. I'm not even talking about missing anything as epic as an historic baseball game, and I still felt like an idiot for ditching my friends simply so I could say that I fucked a girl in her ass and then came in her mouth.

Honestly, was it worth it?

All of the aforementioned leaps and bound to which various people go to appease/woo/meet/keep their significant others pales in comparison to the biggest crime of all:

They stop taking chances.

They get complacent. They get happy. They stick with their jobs. They can't quit and look for something better because they're splitting the rent, or their girlfriends' birthdays are coming up. They can't go out and night and network because Mad About You is on. They can't work 9 -5 and then spend from 5 -9 writing or reading or playing guitar.

In the end, how many people can say it was really worth it? I've made various dumb decisions for every girlfriend I've ever had. And even more still with girls who never even made it to the "girlfriend" stage. And let me tell you, it's not worth it. There is too much life to be lived, and too many opportunities to be had to let someone hold you back for any reason.

Now, you might see this as the ingorant ranting of a guy who doesn't know what love is - a lonely single loser who wants his friends to come drink beers with him and play video games instead of going antiquing. Yes. A lot of that is true.

I'm not anti-relationship. I'm just anti-sacrifice. There are three ways around this.

#1 You've found the one. The one worth sacrificing for. The one you're going to be with for eternity. This is very unlikely. Again. Look at all the married and formerly married people that you know. Would the same sacrifices have been worth it to them?

#2 You've found someone who at least holds back from holding you back. She encourages you. She supports you. She encourages you to take chances, to take that job, to go to that party, to write that screenplay - to do what best for you, realizing that love and relationships are fleeting, and that things like friendship, dreams, and careers are far more attainable as a matter of sheer willpower. She doesn't let you stop taking chances.

#3 Ask yourself if you'd be making the same decisions if you weren't in a relationship. Then ask yourself if #1 or #2 applies. If not....well.....

For me, like I said, I've been there. I've made those stupid mistakes. Until I hit 35 years old, and I'm incredibly lonely and desperate, I'm a #3 man.

Well, that or until I find my #1 or #2.

BW: You know, I skipped that game way back then, just so I could talk to you.
RW: I'm so glad that you did. I love you. Forever. But if you ever do anything like that again, I WILL FUCKING END YOU.

So I guess in the end, the more I think about it, the more I think about who's worth it, #1 or #2, the more I realize they're probably the same person.